Have you ever thought about suicide? Are you sometimes so sad, so beaten down, that you wonder if things would be better if you were just gone? Life can be hard, and it can be discouraging; there may even be times when you wonder if you are making any difference at all. Yet regardless of whatever it is that we’re going through, it is imperative that we understand suicide isn’t the answer.
“For of Him and through Him and to Him are all things, to whom be glory forever. Amen.” (Romans 11:36)
The most important thing to understand when you’re discouraged, perhaps even starting to wonder if it’s even worth going on, is that you’re asking the wrong question. The question isn’t “Is my life making a difference?” It isn’t “Is it worth going on?” And it certainly isn’t “Wouldn’t it be better to end it all?” (Suicide, by the way, wouldn’t end it all anyway–it would just bring you before God’s judgment seat sooner.) Asking questions like these is like contemplating a haircut when your side hurts–getting your hair cut won’t stop your side from hurting anymore than trying to decide whether it’s worth going on will keep you from killing yourself.
The real question that will put your focus where it belongs is, “Am I keeping my eyes on Christ?” And while this may seem like a disappointing answer to someone really hurting in life and wondering whether they should just end it all, it is the only correct answer. Think about it–the only genuine reason you’re even remotely considering ending it all is because you have taken your eyes off of Christ. If you hadn’t, you wouldn’t be thinking so much about yourself!
I am convinced from the bottom of my heart that it is impossible for someone who is truly keeping Christ in His rightful place in their life–before themselves and their desires or feelings–to kill themselves. If you are consistently thinking about what brings God glory, about what He wants you to do; if you are spending time really chewing mentally on what He says in His Word and praying His Word back to Him; if you are worshipping Him–truly recognizing who He is and what an incredible miracle it is that He is even concerned about you and what goes on in your life and that He loves you beyond any other love you have ever experienced or will ever experience and wants nothing more than that you will be able to someday have that love for eternity in its fullness–a preoccupation like this with Christ–with your Savior, your Lord, the One who truly is and should be the love of your life–leaves no room for any evil thoughts, including those of suicide.
God’s Word warns us, “For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places.” (Ephesians 6:12) We gravely underestimate the forces opposing us when we do not recognize where thoughts of suicide originate. They originate from the devil, because it is he who hates God and wants nothing more than to separate those who are His from Him for eternity. He wants to deceive us, to alter our way of looking at things, to conform us to this world then cause us to despair because we do not seem to fit into its faulty standards, to throw out a straw man argument so that we are agonizing over the wrong question like a dog chasing it’s tail–all of it designed to take our focus off of what it is to be firmly fixed on–Christ.
So what are we to be doing when we are discouraged, depressed, even thinking that it isn’t worth going on any more? The answer was already given above. The only really successful and permanent way to kick start ourselves back into the real world is to fight fire with fire–must recognize Satan’s evil, vicious, and insidious attempts to throw us off-focus and not give into the urge to futilely go chasing after the bone he has thrown us, to not give into the temptation of focusing on ourselves and our lives and whatever we think about it’s value. Rather, we must jump right over that bone–God will ultimately judge our lives and determine whether we did what He gave us to do or not–and attack the root of the issue, that we have allowed ourselves to take our focus off of Christ–and reclaim Him and His purposes in our lives, remembering that “…of Him and through Him and to Him are all things,” because it all really is about Him, not us!
Thank You that I’m still alive to read this. Forgive me for allowing myself to be deceived into focusing too much on myself rather than on You, who are the rightful focus–the rightful Lord–of my life and everything else. Thank You that You’re giving me the chance to get it right, and help me to get it right, for today, for tomorrow, and for always! I love You, Lord!!! Amen.